thadfad

我会讲华语。智恩在学讲华语。我的爸爸今天回新加坡。这个华文字典很精彩。我很喜欢她。今天，我们庆祝智恩的生日茶会！

Today, Don insulted my driving.

While Thad was brushing his teeth, he said it's so funny, cause it looks like he's smoking. I thought it was horrible and talked to him about smoking. Don was rather nonchalant though, and doesn't think it has anything to do with the fact that he smokes.

Yay! Tanzania won Gold in today's Marathon. He must have heard Thad and I cheering him on. Another Tanzanian was leading the pack for almost the whole of the race, but withdrew 3/4 of the way because of leg crapms. See la, never eat enough bananas...

I went out with Jane and Liu Hui last Friday and decided to do an experiment on human nature. I decided to act coy and shy to see what type of people shy girls attract. Before that, sleazebags kept approaching us. The shy me attracted the more respectable kind of man. Hmmm...

I took Thad to watch the Commonwealth festival around the Arts Centre yesterday. The moment he stepped out of the tram, he proclaimed that he was very bored. Oooh, can't wait till adolescence kicks in.

We headed for Alexandra Gardens first. To attempt to ease his boredom somewhat, I bought an ice cream for Thad, who offered to share it with me. Except he got to 3/4 of it and apologised that he can't share cause he was going to eat it all up after all.

Ice cream in hand, we watched some aerial trapeze training show, which was a yawn and a bit. We then wondered around and Thad was absolutely mesmerised by skateboarders doing all sorts of fanciful tricks in the skate park. I wanted to watch this really good band and a dance troupe from the Mornington Island but Thad insisted that "the problem is, it's too noisy!".

Thad saw this woman dressed up in a bobble head of Libby Lenton with goggles on her forehead and thought she was a koala bear. Some Telstra people asked me to leave a message for an Australian sports person but I had absolutely no freaking idea who's who in Australian (or any other Country for that matter) sport. I left a message for Libby Lenton (who I had never heard of before) to have a splash at the Commonwealth games.

True to (ranger) form, Thad decided he was bored and wanted to go over to the Arts Centre's The Beach display.

On the way to the Arts Centre, we saw the Australian travelling troupe. There was a man on stilts, a woman pretending to be a chicken, and two nubile men doing acrobatics. They asked for volunteers and Thad was very upset that they never picked him.

On our way out of Alexandra Gardens, I thought I saw Thad's music teacher person, Music Kylie. Thad told me, in the loudest voice he could muster, "That's not Music Kylie, she's too old!". The Music Kylie doppelganger was probably the same age as Music Kylie, but had really sun damaged skin and freckles everywhere. I think she was a bleach blonde ginger, trying to hide her gingervitis.

The beach installation was great and Thad won some sticker at an impromptu dancing competition. He loved playing in the sand and tried to climb and slide down pretend waves. Thad finally admitted that he was famished and we decided to head to Southbank for dinner. Along the way, Thad insisted on watching 2 street buskers perform and was absolutely enthralled and screamed like a girl. He finally decided to fill his tum an hour later, at 8. Don called and wanted to meet us for dinner around Melb Central. On the way to meet Don, Thad asked this random stranger on the tram, what he had in the brown paper bag he was clutching. It was probably weed and a bong, but the man said it was a slice of cake and that he was a baker. Thad told him that he likes baking things, including cakes, and that he's going to have a Blue's Clues cake on Saturday for his 4th birthday. The man then asked how many candles would be on his cake and Thad rolled his eyes and said, "four, of course". Since it was so late, we ended up eating at Hungry Jacks.

Flavours of the Commonwealth
Current medal tally:

Sausage Sizzle, Australia: Don - 9; Mel - 8
Bacon & Cheese, Canada : Don - 7; Mel - 9
Lamb & Mint, England : Don - 6; Mel - 6

Don and I can't decide on who to decide tonight's supper itinerary so we decided to shout words that start with Astro- instead. We're still hungry.

Tonight, as we were putting Thad to sleep, he said he wants to be an artist when he grows up. We talked about things people did and how Grandpa is an engineer and Grandma is a lawyer. He asked what a lawyer does, and with much self-restraint from 24-years of being inundated with laywer jokes, living in a lawyer-dominated extended family (ugh!), I took the cowardly way out and talked about about rules of the home, school and the Country, which are called laws. Thad then piped in that there is a law against the most heinous crime of all - putting toys in rubbish bins.

He then chirped that another bad thing to do is to not keep a promise. For example, if someone gives you a drawing, you should keep it and not throw it out or give it away. Don and I are so freaking guilty because we just threw out a whole box of Thad's artwork, craft masterpieces, and letters and presents to us.

Don is very selfish. He won't let me take a pic of him in his tight mid-thigh maroon underwear with the word "STUD" emblazoned on the right thigh area in shiny sequins. He looks so sexy with his enormous beer gut and love handles spewing over, and his unshaven face with severe 5 O'Clock shadow.

He thinks I owe him for the sexy posed photo with the potato chips (see earlier post) and is making me choose supper tonight. Responsibility.

Thad did this painting all by himself, with the Mountain, a yellow sun, a tree with 7 leaves, sky and white clouds above the blue line. He entitled it, "The Whole World".

Thad was interviewed by a 2nd year psychology student for her subject called, "Theory of Mind", examining how flexible a child's mind is. Ironically, they were a little shy but Thad engaged them really well. They asked him to draw a picture of his family and he did so beautifully, still adhering to his obsession of blue and red things that he acquired from his earlier graffiti (see post below). NB: His obsession extends to his imagined play. For example, we went to McDonald's today to get a ninja turtle toy and played in the space ship playground. He put the space ship in auto pilot while he went to masak masak pee pee. When he returned, he proudly proclaimed that his piss was red and blue. OMG!!! UTI!!! Anyhooo... after drawing Don, himself and I, the psych students asked him to draw a pic of a person, this time on a piece of paper with a big circle and 2 smaller circles inside. It was meant to look like an upsidedown face, with the 2 small circles eyes. They said he couldn't turn the page around but had to draw a person in any way he chose. Thad drew a picture of a man by the side of the circle and said that he had drawn a man playing with a ball.

Dinner time.

I learned 2 things today.

1. Coca Cola Zero is the best non-original coke thus far.
2. When adding salt into an almost full bottle of coke, do it over a sink, cause it will foam madly, like a rabied dog, and spill over, like Amy Yip in a low cut top.

Thad made a 2 sided plasticine man yesterday before school. There, one thing that is not connected to the Power Rangers.

You can always spot the tourist. It's either the non-Chinese person eating rice and dishes on a plate with a pair of chopsticks, leaving the last piece of food on the plate, or the non-Thai person that wears sarongs and thongs with braided hair in Thailand. I'm guilty of wearing a kanga (an African "Batik" cloth) in Tanzania and saying Jambo (hello in Swahili) to every passer-by in Australia that looks remotely of African origin. Doesn't matter that Swahili is only spoken in a handful of African countries. Don cringes everytime I enter ethnic restaurants. I say Gam-Eng (thank you) in Vietnamese restaurants and kobkunka in Thai establishments, while simultaneously rolling my eyes at people who say "ni hao" or "konichiwa" to Asian people.

Today, we decided to go to Bismi, up Sydney Road in Brunswick, for dinner. We ordered pratas and nasi gorengs. Thad was fascinated by the people at the next table who used their hands to eat and decided to eat his prata and rice the "authentic" way. It was truly a messy dinner, but Thad ate lots. He fell asleep on Don's shoulder as we walked home.

Thad's teacher complained that he did not want to clean up his kinder room in school today. Instead, he went to the Tiger room to clean up. Thad grew up with the children currently in the Tiger room. He skipped the Tiger room this year cause he's the eldest in that cohort, but the youngest in the kinder room. His misses all his friends and hasn't quite made any good friends in the kinder room, though he seems to be generally popular with the kinder kids.

Alex, come back from Canada soon! Thad misses you dearly!

When Don and I went to fetch Thad from school today, we played the theme from Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride on the Glockenspiel in Thad's kinder room. That's when we had the revelation. Don and I have decided to get Thad keyboards and a Glockenspiel for his birthday, so that we can play them. Hooray for children and excuses to get them presents that we can use!! Last year, we got Thad a bicycle. That was not of any use to us parasites. A year older, a year smarter.

I decided that Thad's hair was too long as his fringe was getting into his eyes. So, I decided to cut it. Much to Don's consternation. The baby threw a whopping tantrum. Thad, on the other hand, liked his new hairstyle, because he thought it made him look more like the brown mighty morphin power ranger (he is, of course, the brown speed ranger). Don decided not to speak to his innocent, doe-eyed inamorata for 20 minutes for making Thad look less cool.

It's amazing what hypocrisy motherhood makes us go through. We snuggled on the sofa bed's last legs to watch the Commonwealth games opening ceremony and a flying tram (that somebody decided best represents Melbourne) enter the Rod Laver Arena (where Don and I caught Bowie in early 2004). I thought it was a corny symbol (much like how Melbournians hail Delta Goodrem as their eidolon) and had to suppress my laughter and gush alongside Thad and Don at how wonderful and phantasmorgical it was. Thad said that he's always wanted to see a flying tram (huh?) and his ambition is to ride in one. That reminded me of how Christopher's childhood ambition was to be a bus. Not a bus driver, but simply, a bus.

Thad watched the atheletes from the various nations enter the stadium. The team from England came out first (Australia's Machiavellian ploy to tire the English to hamper them from their game tomorrow). Thad lives in this fantasy world where he and his 2 imaginary friends (Burgen and Charlie) live in England with his parrallel world mummy and daddy. He remarked that he had never seen most of the people from England but recognised a few faces.

When the Scottish team filed through, we talked about men wearing special skirts called kilts. He said that Burgen wears skirts because his grandfather is Scottish.

If you didn't already know, Australia is sore about not having Aussie Rules as a Commonwealth game. I'm sure they're more sore about having lost to Ireland in the International Rules game held last year. Muah hahahahaha!!! They are so freaking footy mad that the captains of the various football teams passed the Queen's baton across this grandiose setup across the Yarra river. I'm sure Melbournians will sleep well tonight, soothing themselves with the thought that footy players participated in the Commonwealth games. This 80 year old footy legend had to trudge through water and climb up a whole freaking flight of steps. I really hope he doesn't get pneumonia. Thankfully, his wet trousers didn't get him electrocuted as he ascended the brightly lit stairs to pass the baton on to the next person in the relay.

The Republic of Tanzania has sent a team of 14 to represent the beautiful nation. They will be competing in various middle and long distance events. Some African countries had no jerseys, shoes or money to travel to Melbourne. Melbourne donated money and items for them to compete. I really hope to go back to Tanzania and visit other Countries in Africa and Asia soon. Don and I want to backpack around Chiang Mai, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam for our honeymoon. I want to loose 10 kg to get back to my pre-pregnant weight before getting married.

Don's cooking instant noodles for supper and he just pelted me on the head with a bag of chips cause his aiming sucks.

Looks like I won't be visiting those Asian Countries on my itinerary any time soon.... sigh.

We have just eaten a whole bag of English Lamb and Mint potato chips as part of the Flavours of the Commonwealth series from Smiths' (not the band). I rate this a 6 out of 10. I rate the compromising photo of Don with the bag of chips a whopping 10. I rate the above pun, done in poor taste, a dismal 1/2 out of 10 for effort, half a point less than the critics generously gave Mariah Carey's "film" Glitter.

The Sausage Sizzle flavour was better, 8 out of 10.

Sigh. I miss the Bega cheese chips from Smiths'. I actually emailed the company when they stopped production due to poor reception of those chips. They were a definite winner. The benchmark of all chips to come. The paradigmatic potato chip. I guess I just have to wait until I die and go to heaven to have the Bega chips rain from the sky as salty manna.

In the mean time, I shall have to resort to pacifying myself with inferior chips that increase my ever-expanding waistline. I just had to punch the bag in anger.

The Moomba parade theme this year was cultural diversity. I shall resolve to diversify my taste in men. Somoan men are bloody hot. Homina homina homina... pant pant pant. At the risk of getting too respiratorily alkalotic, I thinkDon looks part Somoan, with his tanned complexion. To the tanning salon!

While I was cooking dinner, Don and Thad were learning about sea creatures on the Internet. Thad pointed to the imageless link marked "Sponges" and said that he wanted to learn about sponges. Hooray for TV. Hooray for Spongebob Square Pants. He can also recognise Hi, Five, The, Wiggles, Bob, Builder, Power and Rangers.

Today was Music Kylie day. Thad was very excited and kept hurrying Don to bring him in early (I was in the hospital). They learnt new songs today but Thad is currently too engrossed in Dragon Ball to sing them to me. He also played the drums. While playing in the yard, he helped Rebecca down the slide. He made yet another gun that can transform into a sword today. I shall attempt to diversify his craft interest.

Sigh... Thad is still 13kg. He's been 13kg since he was 2.

Damn, Thad was playing with a mercury thermometer this morning and broke it. I have visions of my son getting brain damage from it. The thermometer was a gift from an old friend. I should have thrown it out earlier.

Thad, Joanne and I went to watch the Moomba Parade earlier today. Thad's fav was some colourful dance, which I don't remember seeing, and the karate. He sat on my back the whole hour and I'm 100% sore.

We went to my new fav Jap cafe for lunch after the parade and Thad ate like a mouse. Maybe it was the effect of the mercury.

What have I done??!!??!!??!!

Melbourne is an oven.

The Commonwealth games are here. I propose the "Carrying Lumbering Children, 100m, 200m, 400m" events, or the "Pacifying a Spoiled Brat" event. I put in many hours training for these events, imaginary or not, almost every day. Go For Gold!!!

I went out with Thad this arvo. We went to the park and then to Lygon Street for lunch. On the way home, he decided he was tired and wanted to nap. I carried him all the way home, while carrying Don's take away food, my paeds handbook, purse and phone, Thad's hat, 4 bottles of bubble solution and Thad's wet trousers. He insisted on running through the sprinklers in the park. The minute we reached home,Thad decided that he had rested enough and was refreshed enough for computer games.

Tomorrow is Labour Day as well as the Moomba Street Festival. I intend to bring Thad for the festival and lunch, and then to school.

Don gets really irked by the American term, soccer, instead of football. Soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer.

Time to bathe Thad. He walked around barefoot the whole day and proably has worms.

Yesterday, Thad had his first Chinese class. We stayed to observe the first 5 minutes. He proudly proclaimed to the teacher, Zhao Lao Shi, that he knows yan ching, or eyes in Mandarin. He learnt cow, pig and ears in Mandarin. The next class is in 3 weeks and Thad is semi-excited.

On the way back, we stopped over at a party shop and got heaps of party supplies. This is the most expensive and impersonal birthday party yet. Sigh... we used to hand make everything.

We never pray. Tonight, before we slept, Thad decided to close his eyes and hold his palms together and pray that God will fix his Power Ranger motorbike game for one player, two players and even three players. "And how do you finish praying, mom?" He had to start all over again to make it official, complete with a resounding Amen. Having mastered the pro forma, he prayed again, "Dear God, please help make Joe not sick any more. Amen"

Earlier, in the bath, I asked where Thad got some bruises on his legs from. He said they were from the same incident when Joe pushed him and he hit his head. I asked him if he was angry with Joe. Thad indignantly replied that he's not angry with Joe. Rather, he's angry with Joe's sickness.

We have recently found an alternative to sex. Australian Sausage Sizzle flavoured potato chips, from Smiths'. Part of the Flavours of the Commonwealth Countries series, to commemorate the Commonwealth games. Melbourne has never been so clean, had so many street lamps working, fountains clean and flowing, roads built, extra lanes added, Mayors well-groomed, lawn mowing companies raking in so much profits (haha). And so, Australians all over can exalt in the humble HOT DOG, with all its immeasurable charm and nutritional value. Finally, something to be proud of. It's bloody good. Don decided to share the ebullience and sneak a handful of chips into Thad's room as he was trying to sleep. He's so wierd. He's also taken to drinking soft drinks and water from a bowl.

Last night, Don and I were damn bored, so we decided to draw ang kongs (tattoos) on each other. Don decided to draw an eagle eating a worm on my back, and the famous Chinese poem by Li Bai (Chuang Qian Ming Yue Guang) on my arm.

We're going to watch our free Tropfest DVD now.

Water colour on paper.

Thad painted this all by himself at the Vic market night bazaar yesterday. He insisted on painting despite being dog-tired.

Thad's bedtime story tonight is from a book I recently bought from Borders (yes, we support capitalism). John Marsden and Shaun Tan's The Rabbit. I recommend it to all, young and old. One of the best accounts of Australia's bleak past. Don and Thad are having a debate about it now. Time to put him to bed.

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I am in love with a satin bag. It's $20. I'm broke. Life sucks.

In the real world...

Thad had 2 accidents yesterday.

He got pushed by Joe, the bully, again. His teacher sheepishly and haltingly told us that Thad had a toy and a boy (she's refrained from saying his name) wanted his toy and pushed the toy, which happened to hit his head, leaving "a teeny little bruise". According to Thad, Joe pushed him against the wall for no apparent reason. We spoke to the teachers the day before yesterday about Joe and they said that he is receiving some help with another teacher on his aggression. I don't know if she meant that Joe has a behavioural / psychiatric problem, or that the teachers have simply encouraged him to use words insteads of hands. Joe was improving, I guess, when he verbally told Thad the day before yesterday, that he's going to hurt him soooo bad. Thad says that it's no big deal and that he knows how to handle Joe. He also denies any emotional bullying from Joe, though he has recently acquired this behaviour of threatening us. For example, Thad will say that if we do not let him have a lolly, he will not go to school.

I have written to the teachers that I want a more transparent policy on bullying. If Thad gets hit by Joe one more time, I will have a serious talk with the teachers.

Thad had another accident yesterday. He was on the slide, looking down, when a kid pushed him and he fell off, hitting his head. This was a pure accident. He had a huge bruise covering half his forehead and abrasions on the right side of his face. Thad resented my mollycoddling him this morning and said that "they're only bruises, mom. They'll disappear."

We had Thad's kinder social night last night and it was great. We met a few new parents and some old ones. We went for Vic Market's night bazaar, the last one for the year for dinner after. Everyone loved the mandazi and Thad proclaimed to everyone and no one that he made Indian doughnuts. They're actually African doughnuts.

So far, we've got 3 confirmations for Thad's birthday party:
- Jan's family (4 pax)
- Rebecca's family (4 pax)
- Alfie's family (3 pax)
- Xin Hui's family (3 pax)

We're still waiting on:
- Alexander's family (? pax)
- Phoebe's family (? pax)
- Baby Angel's family (5 pax)

Unfortunately, Alex, Thad's best mate, can't come cause he's going to Canada to visit his grandmother. Thad insists that we leave a slice of cake for him. Hello... Salmonella...???!!!

We plan to make blueberry doughnuts tonight, if Thad ever finishes his dinner.

We are watching Fearless and having supper. Don decided to poke his left index finger into the quarter full beer bottle and suddenly yelled out in pain. His bloody finger got stuck in the neck of the bottle and we spent a good 5 minutes trying to pry it loose.

Don insisted I wrote that we spent 1 hour prying his finger loose and is still rolling on the sofa laughing his guts out.

Also, Jet Lee has convinced me that I will treat every pimple as a medical emergency. I will invest in 99% Oxy pimple cream tomorrow.

Also, Don sat on this massage ball and pierced his left butt cheek.

Tis the season for home mishaps. Fa lalalala lala lala.

I'm in love with a moron.

Thaddeus is scarred for life. We went to the museum today because we wanted to get a copy of "The Age", which is a Melbourne newspaper. It used to be included in the museum tix and students get into the museum for free. Unfortunately, they've stopped giving out free newspaper, so we actually had to buy a copy. At the museum, Thad learnt about mammals and how mammals have fur and generally give birth to their young (except for platypuses and echidnas). So, as Don was talking to Thad tonight before Thad went to sleep, as is customary, they talked about how mammals have hair everywhere. Thad was nonplussed and wondered if there was hair, even in the nebulous bum bum area. Don decided to do his semi backward roll, where he tucks his legs behind his ears and his bum bum sticks out, to prove to Thad that mammals do indeed have hair in their bum bums. EEEEYYYEEEEWWWW. I am so tempted to take a photo of Don's hairy ass to attest his hirsuitness but will refrain for fear of being sued with non-bodily harm and visual abuse to the delicate senses. The museum was also a great opportunity to rectify Thad's view that girls are born with babies in their bellies, which is why only women can get pregnant and give birth to babies.

The water's boiling. Time for supper.

We celebrated Don's birthday last Friday at Akita, one of the best Japanese restaurants in Melbourne. Thaddeus cannot keep secrets. He told Don about the cake and everything else. When we collected the cake from Crown bakery, his face fell when he saw that I had ordered such a small mango gateau. He was crestfallen that he could only have one (freaking huge) serving. I organised for dear Bob to sit for Thad at the last minute and Thad was agreeable. I was so proud of myself until Don and I decided we were too lazy and tired to go out and stayed home instead. Wilson, Thomas (who celebrated his birthday the next day), Melissa and Thomas' girlfriend came over and we had strawberry cheesecake from Crown.

The next day, we went to the Imimgration museum for the Pacific Islander festival. We took the city circle tram and met this cutie from America with her mom. It started hailing for a while while we were on the tram. We had to step into a mid-shin deep puddle at the tram stop to get to the museum. Thad thought it was immensely fun and wanted to go back and do it again. I made an ugly thing out of raffia, that wanted to be a grass skirt in its past life.

I have a splitting headache. Hopefully Thad doesn't get any worse than he was today.

This is a Rothschild giraffe. Today, Thad and I are sick. We are not going to school today. I shall upload more pics later cause Thad wants to mutilate the giraffe pic.

We had burgers for dinner and passion fruit pancakes for breakkie today. Thad loves coleslaw and my avocado spread. He also took his first bite of cheese after half a year off it. Thad's best friend, Alex, is allergic to cheese, so Thad decided to announce that he is allergic to cheese too. Before that, he absolutely LOVED cheese. He was apprehensive of passion fruit initially, but remembered "Green Eggs and Ham" and ventured to try it.

I haven't spent much time with him. Don's been really good. I shouldn't have that many late / early days from now on, but am on call for 2 weekends. Thank you Don Don...

A few nights ago, we told Thad the story of Cinderella. He absolutely took offence when I said the step-sisters were evil, because no one is evil. People are good and need to be taught how to do good things. Yeah... he's starting to understand the shades of grey in human nature, but it does make for very trying story-telling.

Thad broke a board in the kinder room today, for no apparent reason. He told us he had to mend it by himself and did so promptly, with masking tape and a pair of scissors, when we got home from the park. When we asked him further, he said it was in response to being upset because this boy, Joe, keeps hitting him and saying he belongs to the Tiger room. We'll talk to the teachers tomorrow.

Thad's drawing is improving. So proud of him. Will upload pics soon.

This morning, Thad and I were adding in a scrapbook entry and he said that one of his favourite foods is chicken egg rice, when daddy cooks it. Another is blue eggs and red ham, that he eats frequently in England.

Thad's quirky habit of holding on to sleeves is getting to me. He almost fell off Don's shoulders just now because he was reaching for don's shirt-sleeve.

I sometimes ask Thad, rhetorically, if anyone's told him he's so wonderful. He will reply, in the greatest of confidence, "Of course! Grandma always tells me that I am!"

Thad and Don are bathing together in the bath. I went in and proclaimed that they are the 2 people I love alot and Thad shrugged his shoulders and said that everybody loves him because he will save the world and started singing the power ranger song, "Hope for the World".

Wonder where he gets these irritating traits from... he thinks it's funny...

Will cook ham yu tau gei and ham yu chee yok peng tomorrow for dinner. So exciting!!!!!